15 Sep 2011 No Comments
Do Children Add Stress on Marriage?
No one wants to say it, but everyone knows it’s true that having babies and parenting small children can be pretty tough on a marriage. I really think that regardless of how solid your relationship is, you’re bound to endure the inevitable challenges of early parenthood. Our children are our greatest blessing but in all honesty, they add some stress to our marriage because they require A LOT of attention.
The changes that occur at the birth of our boys are immeasurable, and at some point I realized that our lives will never be the same again. I honestly have gone through a roller coaster of emotions. From the pride of watching them develop and learn new skills to feeling disconnected from my husband at times due to sleep deprivation and lack of energy. Both of us needs a break but often doesn’t happen enough so we get cranky and irritable thus, making us snap at each other.
My husband and I have always been a great team but suddenly, we’re clashing on certain ideas on how to discipline our Big J who is now entering the stage of “Terrible Twos”. I want to do things one way while he has an entirely different approach. Trying to figure out who is right and which way is better can get really stressful. Luckily, we both realize that we came from different families and were raised differently on many levels and our children brings all of those differences to the surface. Therefore, we just have to work harder on coming up with discipline methods that we both can agree on.
I have to admit, our boys take time and attention away from our marriage. They suck all the hours out of the day and fill up every spare cell in our brains. Being a parent is wonderful, only somehow, it’s definitely causing some stress to our marriage because we don’t have a lot of time for ourselves as we once used to. But in-spite all that, our two precious boys also remind us everyday what life is truly about and that it’s the little things that matters most.
Even though Michael and I doesn’t get much time to ”just talk” the way we used to, it’s those little things that he does each day that show he cares is what matters the most. Like taking Little J from me so he could burp him and put him to bed after I breastfeed so I could get more sleep. Or in the morning before work, whenever he can, he lets me stay in bed for as late as possible before asking me to get ready.
The bottom line? Despite the stress, it’s those thoughtful things that we do for each other is what have kept our marriage stronger and I know that someday, when the boys are all grown up, Michael and I are going to look back on this period fondly.